Most people have to deal with hurtful breakups at some point in their life. But for some of us, breakups turn into emotional turmoil that we’re dealing with years after what triggered them.
But how do we know we are only experiencing grief and not going through a traumatic event? Grief may take many forms, but if you’re feeling paralyzed at the mere thought of them, then it’s more serious.
Here are 10 signs you are still trying to get over a painful breakup:
1. You have emotional outbursts
Having recurrent emotional outbursts means there are emotions you have not dealt with properly. Naturally, these come out later in darker and louder ways. So think about what it is that you still need to work through.
2. You have flashbacks
Sure, we all reminisce over young lost love every once in a while. But if something you hear or smell takes you back violently to what happened, then it’s a lot more serious than that. You feel that any minor detail could intensify how you feel about your breakup or about them.
3. You’re in shock
A state of shock may range from a few hours to a few months. Anxiety could rear its ugly head or even nightmares. This is your body and mind’s way of trying to overcome the shock and process your emotions.
4. You isolate yourself
Ironically, isolation becomes your best pal. That’s because you feel your friends and family can’t really understand what you’re feeling. So you decide to spend some time on your own.
5. You’re depressed
Depression is sometimes a natural response to a very harmful breakup. It’s, again, your mind’s way of shutting down and focusing on the issue at hand. You also feel emotional exhaustion, but know it will pass. Give it some time.
6. You’re angry
You’re angry at life, at the Universe, at everything. You think this could have been avoided. You’re enraged at the way they chose to deal with your differences. You’re enraged they walked away just like that.
7. You unjustly blame yourself
You think it’s your fault and this clearly will not help with the healing process. But your thought patterns are subjective. Time can clear the waters a bit and make you realize they played their part as well.
8. You’re in denial
You can’t bring yourself to believe the relationship is over. You keep hoping that at some point they will come back in your life and things will be alright again between you two.
9. You relive hurtful memories
This is what keeps us stuck in the past and what makes it harder for us to really let go. We keep replaying memories and conversations in our head. We do this because we hope to reach a deeper truth, something that will help us make sense of what happened.
10. You try to numb your emotional pain
Some resort to anything that could make us stop feeling. Because we have come to associate feeling with hurting and we need it to make it go away. But drowning our sorrow by developing unhealthy habits can’t and won’t make us whole again.
The sooner your grief is addressed, the better chances you have of healing. Acceptance is the hardest part of our grieving process, but you will get there.