You’ve gone through heartache so many times before you lost count. You’ve been lied to, taken for granted, cheated on, deceived and somehow you survived.
However, these emotionally brutal experiences may have left deep marks, sometimes so deep we can’t tell they are there. Here are 10 things you do because you’ve been hurt, some even without you realizing it.
1. You are always alert – and for good reasons
Heartbreak teaches you one thing: to put your defenses up even higher. So high that nothing and no one can hurt you. That’s why you are always very cautious: you feel you just couldn’t take any more disappointment.
2. You can smell toxicity from a mile away
You must be by now so accustomed to toxic people that you can feel it from afar. It’s learned behavior that keeps you away from people with the potential to hurt you.
3. You feel when someone starts taking you for granted
The signs are there, but not everyone can see them. You’ve been through this for so long that you will instantly notice when someone becomes more distant and colder with you.
4. You don’t reveal your feelings right away
Letting people in is a huge step for you. You have ‘trained’ yourself to be guarded at any cost and you only open up under special circumstances. You will usually wait until the other person becomes vulnerable and until you make sure you can trust them.
5. Kindness means everything to you
Being treated with kindness and respect is all you are after. It means the world to you the more you had to deal with people who treated you poorly. You are ready to give your heart to whomever will be genuinely kind to you.
6. You want to trust people but you’re afraid
You want to talk about your feelings and be vulnerable with people, but what if you get hurt again? How will you be able to cope with it? These are some of the questions troubling you whenever you want to tear down those walls you built.
7. You want to take things slowly
It’s like you carry the sign ‘proceed with caution, broken heart ahead’ hung around your neck. You know that taking your time with getting to know someone will help you open up in the long run.
8. You’ve been through a lot but still have hope
You haven’t given up on people altogether. You still believe things can be mended, you just haven’t met the right people yet.
9. Sometimes you don’t think you are worthy
This comes as no surprise. Being treated badly so many times before may affect one’s self-esteem a lot. But then you make sure you remind yourself it is not your fault.
10. Deep down, you know you still have a lot to offer
You know that they didn’t get the best of you. Although you have been crushed, you have retained your ability to feel. That is incredibly brave. You know that when the right person comes along, you will still have love and kindness in your heart for them.