It’s only inevitable that the euphoria of newly found love will bring heartbreak and loss, at least in some cases. And most often, we choose to give less importance to what happened in between, to the experience itself.
After a breakup, we tend to focus so much on the absence of our loved one, on what went wrong. Or on the future we planned together that we’ll never have.
All these thoughts are a normal part of the grieving process and we shouldn’t skip them. But there comes a time when we must quit looking at our past relationship as a failure.
That’s only one side of the story, the empty half of the glass. Here are 3 most important lessons which will show you that relationships are never a failure, even after they’ve ended.
1. Relationships teach us about ourselves and show us where we can grow
Being close to someone allows us to see ourselves reflected in the other person’s eye. We are shows a different perspective and that is crucial to developing self-knowledge.
Any inconsistencies or conflict that may occur shed a light on our values, beliefs and core principles. Each person that comes into our lives truly shapes us and will forever leave a mark.
Our relationships can also indicate our weaknesses and help us overcome them. It often happens that some arguments make us more aware of our emotional triggers. In that sense, a new relationship can help us solve past unsolved trauma or emotional blockage.
Somehow, a failed relationship will force you to do some serious self-work and thus indirectly help you find the right one for you.
2. Relationships allow us to practice vulnerability
Vulnerability is golden. It’s practically the heart and soul of a solid and healthy relationship. With each relationship, we learn to open our hearts. Again and again, more and more. And in that place of freedom, we find intimacy, love, care and understanding.
The more we practice being in this state, the better chances are for us to make vulnerability our best friend.
It’s understandable why so many people are afraid to open up, especially after they’ve been hurt. But choosing to show vulnerability even in the face of potential loss and hurt is the bravest thing we could do.
Once you recognize that opening yourself up to disappointment and grief is not failure, you will begin to appreciate all of your relationships more. Including those that didn’t work out.
3. No love is ever wasted
We humans are usually pretty future-oriented. This means we choose to attribute value only to those relationships that survive or are part of our future plans. And oftentimes, the most heart wrenching part of a breakup is that we are left without any hope for a future together.
But what if love, joy, harmony, intimacy are end in themselves? What if we should strive to value these things while we have them, without any further expectations?
The outcome shouldn’t prevail; at the end of the day, it’s the journey that counts. Be happy that you had the opportunity to enrich your life and your soul. This is why no love is ever lost.