Author Mark Manson lays out some problems every unhealthy relationship deals with. Many of these poor behaviors are so rooted in our culture we don’t regard them as being toxic anymore.
1. The Earth would stop spinning if you were to lose this relationship
The moment you look in the mirror and don’t see yourself but the mere depiction of both of you, that’s when you know you are part of a toxic relationship. Giving up all of you just to be in tune with someone else doesn’t do good. Abandoning your whole self and handing your identity to this person enables even more insecurity within the relationship and creates huge expectations for you.
You invest your everything in this relationship and think it will save you from all the bad in the world. Suddenly, other relationships seem worthless to you and eventually you distance yourself from the people who love you. As Manson claims, not only people can be toxic: the workplace, family members or cultist groups.
2. Your relationship hinders other relationships in your life
As stated above, losing yourself in the relationship forces you to ignore other bonds you’ve created. So much so that anything that’s not linked to your ongoing love affair is simply no longer present an interest to you. Nothing matters to you but this relationship.
People around you may try to open your eyes regarding the level of toxicity in your relationship but you have no ears for that. Moreover, you choose to withdraw some more and delve deeper into the relationship. This is so powerful that it suffocates all the other relationships you may have.
3. The more you invest, the more damage within
Marching blindly towards the very core of the relationship generates drama and more drama. Not only does it suck all your energy up but creates a vortex of mixed emotions that functions as a black hole. Every time you want to pull yourself out, it immediately drags you in back again.
Toxic relationships are dicey like that. When you’re in them, you want to get away as soon as possible. When you’re out, you just don’t know what to do with yourself.