Some recent statistics show that a great number of women have given up the idea of ever finding love. That may sound radical, but can we blame them?
Mainstream media has promoted a highly idealized version of love which we internalized. No wonder we feel disappointed and disillusioned when left with the real version of a relationship, which is hard work oftentimes.
So some of us simply decided chasing love is probably not worth the bother after all. Or is it? Here are 5 reasons why a large number of women promised to never fall in love again:
1. They’ve been hurt
The most obvious reason – and probably the strongest one – is heartache. Women who think love no longer has a place in their lives have most likely been deeply hurt.
The natural response after loss or breakup is to protect themselves at any cost. Even if that means quitting love altogether. So they stay away for as long as they can hoping the hurt will go away eventually.
2. They confuse the issue
Falling in love is not really the problem. What they are running away from is in fact falling for the wrong person. They feel they couldn’t deal with another failed relationship so being on their own seems like the best solution there is.
In this case, giving up on love means giving up relationships with the wrong people.
3. They may have taken a breakup too personally
A breakup can definitely take its toll on someone’s self-esteem, especially if they were not the one who initiated it. Perhaps some women have taken all the blame for the downfall of the relationship. Feeling shattered and less worthy of love makes it difficult indeed to get back into the dating game.
That’s why some may feel the need to work out some internal issues like personal insecurity before getting involved again. In this sense, they have given up a potential recipe for future disaster, not love necessarily.
4. They lack self-awareness
Lacking self-awareness means they can’t tell if there are patterns in how they fall in love and with whom. If we dive into the romance without first knowing exactly what we want and need from it, chances are it will go south.
But if we are fully aware of some destructive patterns or behaviors we engaged in, then we can stop a relationship before it turns into a disaster.
5. They have convinced themselves it’s better to be alone
This is a powerful enough reason to remain single – if not for all eternity, at least for a while. For whatever reason, be it comfort, safety, or no more hurting, some women feel better on their own.
But they acknowledge at the same time that yearning for love is a powerful and natural human drive. Suppressing it will only make it come back stronger, like with any emotion we deny to ourselves.
Being on your own for a while may not be the worst thing in the world, on the contrary. But love is out there, love is within. So there probably isn’t an escape from it, whether we want it or not.