It usually takes two emotionally stable people to have a genuine connection and reach a high level of intimacy. Stable just as much as available.
We may take this aspect for granted at times. We often assume that just because we’re dating someone and really getting along with them, they are just as open as we are.
It can be daunting to find out they are not putting their emotions on line or investing in the relationship as much as you do. So if you suspect they are emotionally unavailable, here are a few red flags to look out for.
1. You just can’t read them clearly
Trying to guess what’s on their mind can become draining for your relationship. You can never get an exact response from them and that may leave you confused and frustrated. With them, one minute you feel like what you have is going somewhere and the next minute, they take one step back.
2. They don’t want to know much about you
Ranting about themselves on a loop without asking anything about you is a pretty big and red flag. Emotionally available people will want to know about you and care for your feelings. If they show little interest in you, then they are clearly not thinking of taking it to the next level with you.
3. They often seem cold, distant and not present
Unavailability comes with a lack of presence. These people will maintain their distance because they are not ready to get involved for certain reasons. They may have intimacy or trust issues so they will refrain from giving themselves fully to you. They will often put up walls to prevent another heartache.
4. Flirting with flattery
Some emotionally unavailable people are all about the chase, and not the catch. They can be showering you with flattery and compliments, they can be the charmers. In some cases, this is only an act. While they’re ok with short-term and more shallow intimacy, they can’t offer you more.
5. You always feel like something’s missing with them
You find it really difficult to figure them and their intentions out. It’s particularly frustrating because you always expect them to do or say a little more, and yet that never happens. This is an indication that you deserve someone who will reciprocate your level of emotional involvement.