In the first stages of your relationship, you feel oxytocin and dopamine driven – in other words, you’re on fire. This is the major reason why we overlook important red flags which tell us something’s wrong. Instead, we focus on how high and excited we get when the one we like shows interest.
During this honeymoon phase, we tend to turn a blind eye on the things that bother us. The rush is too much, and we only want more.
But don’t get so caught up or you might lose the sense of reality. No wonder they say love is blind. If your partner asks you to do any of these things, then they’re not the one for you.
1. Ask you to change your look
A guy should never ever ask you to change your appearance to fit his desires. It’s selfish and it’s quite disgusting actually. Keep in mind that they should value you for who you are, not the size of your breasts.
But above all, they should accept your choices when it comes to what you’re wearing. It’s a sign of respect. And if they can’t do that, I highly encourage you to step back.
2. Cut you off from friends or family
So your partner may not be best friends with your best friend or your mother. And that’s fine, not everyone can get along well. But if he starts trying to distance you from any of your loved ones, that’s a huge red flag. It says he thinks he’s more important than anyone else in your life.
3. Ask you to give up all privacy
I’ve known couples who share a Facebook or Twitter account. That’s not necessarily bad, but if they want to monitor everything you do online, that’s invasive and abusive. It all comes down to control.
So if things escalate and they need to have access to all of your accounts and know all the passwords, talk to them. Tell them it’s not ok because you have the right to privacy.
4. Tell you to get over it
A kind loving partner would never ever tell you to simply get over it when you’re dealing with something. You may be having a bad day or the worst period of your life and you need comfort and reassuring. You certainly don’t need your significant other to tell you to snap out of it.
They should really know better and strive to show empathy and support. And if they can’t offer you that, you know what you have to do.
5. Make you feel badly about yourself
The right one for you should make you feel confident and cared for. If they’re all about criticism and neglect, then they have other intentions. It’s normal for all couples to experience conflict every once in a while, but constantly putting each other down is a bad sign.
It means they may not have the emotional maturity to be able to place your feelings alongside theirs.
Don’t turn a blind eye on these red flags! And remember you deserve someone to cherish you and respect your decisions!