How We Must Learn To love: Without Expectation Or Attachment


Love is a force of nature. Love cannot be manipulated, it can’t be changed to suit one’s desire. You cannot force someone to love you nor can you dictate how or when love comes into your life. All you can do is surrender to it and be prepared for the unpredictable.

We can’t force people to love us just because we want them in our lives. We cannot control how love spreads its wings. Love romps freely and sometimes lands on the most peculiar tops, where you thought it may never settle. Butterflies begin to swarm in your stomach at the sight of someone you’ve never thought they could ever arouse your interest.

That is love, it sneaks up on you. Bluntly and unexpectedly. You may plead for love to enter your life but it will always surprise you and pop up when least expected. Or take forms you never thought of. That’s right, we cannot choose whom we love. In the end, love chooses us.

That is why we must learn to love without expectation or attachment. We must learn to give love without expecting anything in return. Love is about candidly loving another person, not about being loved. We cannot demand love to fit our idea of perfection, we cannot chase nor beg for it. We shall let love manifest of its own accord, even if things don’t turn out the way we wanted to. The power to let go, even when it seems the hardest thing to do. That is love.

Spreading love without expectation does not mean you should allow anyone to treat you other than ok. You shall not become a doormat only because you have comprehended the intricacies of love. Nothing less than understanding, respect and loyalty should you ask from love.

But we must learn how to love without expecting an outcome. We cannot force someone to fit into our predetermined ideas of relationship but let love take its own free course. While finding a way to accept an ending that’s not all we hoped for.

Love is allowing those we cherish to put their own needs first, even if those don’t include us. Love is about finding a true companion in yourself. It’s becoming whole inside so that we don’t need anyone else to complete us. To love yourself enough that you don’t need somebody else to prove you’re worthy of love.

Loving without expectation or attachment is to be open and allow love to enter while still be willing to set another free. It will probably hurt down to the bone but so will the bruises from trying to hold them so tight and force them to stay. Let them go. Their journey is not yours and that’s ok. Love them anyway.


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