Soulmates are not these inexorable immovable beings in our lives. They come, but they may as well go. There’s no law that prevents them from disappointing us. And breaking us.
There are many reasons why they may quit the relationship and just walk away. You can blame it on the randomness of the universe, on timing, on their lack of emotional maturity etc. In the end, all this matters very little because they’re not there to hug you at the end of the day.
What matters is that this person has left irremovable imprints on your heart. You can’t pretend that what you two had never happened. You can’t erase the memory of them because Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is only a movie.
And you’re not entirely sure you would press delete on all those wonderful times you had together. So what’s left to be done?
How do you remove the love you still feel for them? After all this time.
Just when you think you’ve finally moved on, they sneak into your heart again. When you think you’ve lost any trace of them, they creep in at night, when you’re in bed, alone with your thoughts. That’s the one place they promise to never leave.
Otherwise, it takes only one song, one joke or one scene in a movie that will bring it all back. Everything you thought you’ve already waved a painful and yet blissful goodbye to. How do they still manage to keep you latched onto them, from afar? After they’ve already moved on and told you to do the same.
Maybe because there are wounds so deep that can only be healed partially. But what do mathematics have to do with love? Maybe there is courage in allowing yourself to grieve, over and over again. Maybe there is some part of you that takes pride in being broken.
Because this means you have really put all your heart and soul into something. You really tried and you gave everything you had. You loved the way everybody should be loved: fully, openly, unabashedly.
You let yourself go and got hurt. And still picking up the pieces.
But that’s alright.
It’s alright because you can survive without someone who can survive without you. It’s alright because you can let go of someone who let go of you. Keep your heart open, keep your standards up and you find many rewards. Don’t quit yourself.
Things may seem very difficult to you right now. But how you proceed is everything. You will soon realize that everything you thought you once lost will find their way back to you.
Seek refuge in love and you will be able to manage the pain.